


The End of the World

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if things went differently that Halloween in Godric's Hollow?  Harry's dead but the Potters survive.  How can Voldemort be defeated now if the prophecy was never fulfilled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am just borrowing JK Rowling's characters for a while.
> 
> Warning: There will be character death. Please don't hate me. It is necessary for the plot.

| 

  
  
  
  
**The End of the World**  
  
**Prologue**  
  
The black haired little boy was laughing as a red haired woman tickled his tummy. James Potter smiled, as he watched his beautiful wife and their much loved son together. Things would be perfect if only the most feared wizard in the country, Lord Voldemort, was not after them. Albus Dumbledore had been warning them for months that there was somebody in their inner circle that was feeding information to the Death Eaters, Voldemort's feared supporters. The Headmaster of Hogwarts had to be wrong. James could not believe that any of his friends could betray him. What did Dumbledore's spy know anyway? If he managed to get into the Death Eaters in the first place, then he could not be trustworthy. James shook off his dark musings and turned to his family. He took Harry into his arms and promptly threw him into the air, catching him on his descent.  
The little boy giggled but Lily gave James a look of disapproval. "James, you know I don't like you doing that. You could drop him."  
  
James rolled his eyes. "He's fine, Lily. You worry too much. There's no need to mollycoddle the boy."  
  
However, he sat Harry back on the floor. He put his arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on his. He cherished the quiet moments like this. He had spent a number of years pursuing the lovely Lily Evans before she had given him a chance. Now they were happily married and had little Harry, who was the spitting image of him but had Lily's green eyes.  
Lily looked at her watch. "It's nearly time to put him down for the night."  
  
James kissed her on the cheek. "Let him have a little fun for a bit. I will look after him and you can go take a break."  
  
Lily smiled gratefully to him and left the two in the sitting room. James took out his wand and started conjuring red smoke from the tip. Harry watched in glee and clapped his tiny hands. The man chuckled at his son's antics and continued to entertain the boy with various colours. Harry giggled even more and kept trying to grab it in his tiny fists. The sound of a sudden pop caused James to jump.  
  
A familiar voice came from the fireplace. "Prongs!"  
  
There in the hearth was the head of his best friend, Sirius Black. "Padfoot, you very nearly gave me a heart attack." Harry gurgled happily at the sight of his Godfather.  
  
"So what brings you into my fireplace this time of the evening?"  
  
"I thought you might like an adventure. I have a mission for Dumbledore and I could do with some help. It will take an hour tops."  
  
James had been feeling bored. He was all cooped up. _Surely it could not hurt. Lily and Harry were safe._  
  


Meanwhile, the previously mentioned most feared wizard in the country was ambling down a cobbled street of a small country town. On a normal day he would look conspicuous but seeing as today was the Muggle holiday Halloween, he could be easily mistaken for a party goer on the streets of Godrics Hollow. Voldemort was feeling exultant. Tonight was the night when he would destroy little Harry Potter. No little brat was going to get in the way of Lord Voldemort. Voldemort's heart thudded excitedly. He put his hand on the gate and carefully watched the window. The gate creaked ominously, but there was no reaction from inside. Voldemort smirked and reached for his wand and blew the door open. There was a cry from upstairs. He could hear the woman shoving all the furniture in a feeble attempt to barricade herself in. It seemed the silly woman was rash in attempting to save her son. He flicked his wand and all the obstacles moved from the doorway and he walked into the child's bedroom, where she had fled.  
  
Lily dropped her son into the crib and stood hands out as if to shield the child. _Stupid Mudblood!_  
Her eyes were wide and frightened, but she refused to stand down, "Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"  
  
"Stand aside, stand aside, girl-"  
  
He shoved the woman out of the way. She stumbled forward and fell hitting her head off the door. She slumped to the floor unconscious. Voldemort approached the child, who had remained strangely quiet until now. He smirked malevolently at the boy and raised his wand.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!"  
  
What hope did Dumbledore and his Order have now? Voldemort took in his handiwork and laughed. How could anyone believe that Harry Potter would be a match for him?  
  
**To Be Continued**...  
  
Please let me know what you think.  
  
---


	2. 1. Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the direct aftermath of Harry's death. Lily and James grieve unaware of the plans Voldemort is putting into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I'm just borrowing because I'm too lazy to invent my own world.

**Chapter One:  Numb**

Lily Potter heard her name being called as she drifted back to consciousness.

"Lily, Lily!" Sirius was shaking her. Her heart was pounding and her head throbbing from her injury. As she looked into his brown eyes, the events of the night came back to her in a flash.  _Oh God, Harry._

Suddenly a shout of anguish filled the house. "Harry!"

She knew as soon as she heard her husband's grief-stricken roar that it meant Harry was dead.

"Harry," she whispered hoarsely. She jumped quickly to her feet rushing past Sirius and headed in the direction of Harry's cot. She could see James now bent over the cot. He turned around at the sound of her footsteps.

"Don't look, Lily!" He tried to guide her away from her son's lifeless body. "It's better if you don't. You don't want to see him like that."

"Harry," she screamed. "My baby, not my baby."

James took her into his arms. She tried to escape his embrace hitting his chest with her fists. He grabbed her wrists, but she continued to struggle. "Let me go, James. I have to see him, please."

Once she realised he wasn't going to let go, she gave in. She burst into tears and held him tight. Both of them sank to the floor clinging to one another, tears rolling down their faces.

 

 

A few hours later, the Aurors and Dumbledore finally finished questioning James, Lily and Sirius in Godric's Hollow. Dumbledore had offered the Potters a place to stay. It was too hard to stay in that house any longer than necessary and they gratefully accepted the invitation to go to Hogwarts for a few days. As they walked in the direction of the castle, Lily was walking alongside the Headmaster while Sirius and James were walking ahead of them. Dumbledore turned to her.

"My dear, Lily, you have been so brave tonight." Dumbledore's blue eyes were compassionate behind his spectacles.

"Brave?" she asked incredulously. "I'm just getting on by minute by minute."

He put a soothing arm on her shoulder.

"Please don't say I told you so," she begged him.

He shook his head. "I wasn't going to."

"But you were thinking it."

"Don't do this to yourself."

Lily was silent for a moment, thinking about how they never once thought they were really in danger once the charm was active.  _Why did Peter betray us? Was he being tortured for information?_ She wanted to know.  _Or was he dead?_

"Any sign of Peter?"

"No, I'm afraid." He looked at her sadly. "His house was empty. The Aurors are looking for him of course."

They arrived at the front doors finally and Dumbledore asked them to come to his office while he sought to sort out quarters for them to stay in. She hoped that he would leave anymore questions till morning. She did not feel like going over all the details again and again. She had cried herself out at this point, and she suspected she had no more tears left.  _I hope Voldemort's happy now_ , she thought bitterly.  _I won't rest till he's got his comupenace._

 

_  
_

Severus Snape felt anxious, his dark mark aching it's summons. He had never agreed with all of Voldemort's ideas but he had foolishly ignored his apprehensions. It wasn't as if he was required to perform the more detestable parts of being a Death Eater. That was what he had once told himself. Unfortunately he had found life was not as simple as that. As a teenager he had a reputation at school as a Dark Arts nerd and first class potioneer, but despite the reputation he had never been accused of being a Death Eater, which made him ideal for the role of spy in Hogwarts. It was the interview of teacher at the school that led Snape to the prophecy. Severus had never believed in that mumbo jumbo but his master did, so like the loyal minion he was, he reported what he heard word for word. That was the biggest mistake of his life and as a result, he was now a double agent. His actions resulted in a death warrant for the only woman he ever loved, and now the only thing he wanted desperately was her safety. He felt sick but cleared his face of any betraying emotion. He was a naturally gifted Occlumens and it was a skill that saved his life on many occasions. He arrived at the same time as a number of his fellow Death Eaters. Voldemort's red eyes bore into his immediately. It seemed the Dark Lord had decided that his reaction was most important. His heart plummeted. This could only mean that he had found the Potters.  _"God, please, let Lily be okay."_

"My Lord." He bowed.

Voldemort looked around surveying his assembled followers. He gave a malevolent smirk and turned to Severus. "Snape, you will be pleased to know I spared your mudblood."

He felt relief course through him.  _Oh thank god._  However, his relief was a subdued by the idea that an innocent child had surely been robbed of life. He hated James Potter but he could not find that loathing for his offspring. For as much as he was Potter's; he was Lily's also. There were a lot of looks of interest and indistinct murmuring among his compatriots.

"I am in your debt, my Lord." Even as he spoke the words, he struggled to prevent the bile rising in his throat. He knew that Voldemort never did something for without reason and he would be expected to repay it and most likely in the nastiest way possible. Voldemort knew he could use Lily against him now.

"The boy is dead?"

"Of course, the boy is dead. Had you no faith in me?" Voldemort's voice was cold and Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

"Pardon me, my Lord. I meant –"

"It matters not."

Severus knew from the dangerous tone of his voice that it did matter but he inclined his head politely.

"I know what you are wondering. Your competition has not been killed. Unfortunately, it seemed James Potter was out for the night. You shall have to find your own way of disposing of him."

There was some tittering laughter at the jibe.

"Death Eaters, tonight has been a good night for us. Dumbledore and the Order of the Pheonix will surely not sleep well tonight."

The Death Eaters cheered and a reluctant Severus with them. While in Godric's Hollow the Potters were mourning, the Death Eaters were beginning a celebration in earnest. Soon Voldemort would be in power and the rest of wizarding world would be theirs.

To be continued.

Please let me know what you think.


	3. Back at Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James are at Hogwarts trying to come to terms with their loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter. I'm just borrowing for a while. I will return them but I can't promise they will be whole.

**Chapter Two: Back At Hogwarts**

It had only been a few days, but it had been the longest and most terrible week in Lily's whole life. She and James kept their distance from the rest of the occupants of the castle unable to bear the looks of pity. They had a quiet and private funeral on Hogwarts grounds, where Harry was laid to rest. Sirius had visited a few times and Remus had dropped by once to pass on his condolences. Many of her former teachers had also come to pay their respects, but they were left alone to grieve for the most part. She was exhausted both physically and mentally. Any time she tried to sleep, it was restless and filled with nightmares. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see that bastard. In her dreams she could hear his cold voice and had to watch as his murderous hands killed her beloved Harry as her little boy screamed for her. She sat up in the bed, unable to allow herself to close her eyes. She needed something to distract her from the ache in her heart. No parent should ever have to lose their child like that. She slipped out from her bed and pulled on a nightgown over her nightdress. The quarters Dumbledore had given them were small but cosy. There was a bedroom and a living area. All the necessities were provided for and if she had been there for more pleasant reasons she really would have enjoyed returned to the castle she had regarded as home for seven years. In an attempt to distract herself from her waking nightmare she pulled out a dusty tome from the bookshelf in the corner. She settled herself down on the most comfortable looking armchair and started to read. The words just swam in front of her eyes and a half an hour passed without her getting passed the third page. She couldn't bring herself to return to her bed and her husband. She would surely dream about Instead, she resolved to wander the corridors of the castle in search of the kitchens. She could just summon an elf to provide a warm cup of cocoa, but she needed the walk. She couldn't bear the idea of tossing in her bed again. The corridor was deserted and she made her way slowly to her destination. The Headmaster had placed them near the Gyrffindor common room and the kitchens were the far side of the castle. She starred at the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was snoozing. Hogwarts was the same as it ever was and that was a comforting thought. The world had seemed such a magical place when she had begun Hogwarts at the age of eleven. It was hard to leave her family behind, but she had her best friend with her. Friends forever, they had promised. She should have known it would all turn sour when they were sorted into different Houses. She had just turned a corner when she nearly walked right into the Headmaster. He gave her a quizzical look.

"I couldn't sleep," she explained.

He looked concerned and a little sad at her revelation. "That's to be expected I suppose. I can get Severus to whip up some Dreamless Sleep for you in a jiffy," he offered.

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Severus Snape is here?" It was odd, she had just been thinking about him.

"Haven't you heard?" Dumbledore gave her a kindly smile. "He is our Potions master."

Her mouth dropped open. The idea was ludicrous. The thought of her former best friend having the patience to teach "imbeciles" Potions was too much.

Dumbledore' eyes were twinkling and he raised a brow.

"I'm sorry. I'm just surprised. He's brilliant, but not really a people's person." Her face took on a more serious expression as she reflected on the differences that drove them apart. These were the sort of differences that led to her baby being murdered by a mad man. A polite cough from the Headmaster brought her from her reverie.

"Would you like me to get a potion for you?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to get some cocoa from the kitchens. I could do with the distraction to be honest. If I still can't sleep tomorrow night I might take you up on the offer. I know I could make one myself but I can hardly concentrate at anything at the moment."

Dumbledore excused himself and Lily watched him. Severus might have been mixed up with the wrong crowd back then but he mustn't have joined the Death Eaters after all, if he was hired by Dumbledore. With the benefit of hindsight she could see she had been a little harsh with him despite her uneasiness about his choice in friends other than her.

Lily was tired when she awoke the next morning. She only managed two hours. Their breakfast was delivered with a note from the Headmaster. Dumbledore had guessed rightly that neither she nor James would be able to face the whole school. They sat down at the table together but they exchanged barely more than a couple of words. She could hardly look at him. She knew rationally that he was hurting just as much as she was. Nevertheless, she could not help but wonder what would have happened if he had been there. She knew that even if James had been there more than likely the result would have been the same. Voldemort would just have taken out the whole family but the question was still there in her mind and she suspected it was in his mind too.

"It's not your fault," she whispered.

James ran his fingers through his hair. "I should have been there."

She couldn't argue with that.

It was well past midnight and Dumbledore was awating news from the Death Eaters. His spy had been summoned hours earlier and he had heard no word yet. Dumbledore was about give up and retire for the night when Severus Snape stumbled in the door.

"Headmaster." Severus looked terrible. "The Longbottom boy is dead too. The Dark Lord brought word but he didn't mention the parents."

"Oh Tom, what have you done?" Dumbledore had seen this coming but he had hoped that all precautions taken might save the child. It was unlikely the family had survived. He turned his attention to the broken man in front of him.

The young man was clearly shaken. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"You have to." Dumbledore tone brooked no argument. "You owe those poor children that."

Snape bowed his head. "I know, but it's hard."

To be continued.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	4. Pangs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James try to cope with their loss and Severus struggles with his demons.

**Chapter Three: Pangs**

The process of losing a child never ends, but time helps you cope with the grief. That Lily and James were finding it difficult was to be expected, however, they were dealing with the loss in different ways. Lily had resorted to keeping herself busy with helping Madam Pomfrey in the Infirmary, by brewing some of the simpler potions that the Mediwitch normally made herself. James, on the other hand, was moping about in their quarters, sometimes overindulging in Fire Whiskey, mead or elf made wine. He needed something to focus his energies on and Lily knew that staying holed up in Hogwarts wasn't healthy for either of them. One particular evening, Lily returned to find James in tears over a photo of Harry flying on his very first broom. Harry had really loved the damn thing. He had almost killed the cat once.

"Hi, love," she said, startling him. He hadn't seen her come in.

He turned to look at her with sorrowful eyes. "How can you bear to look at me?"'

"What are you talking about?"

"It's my fault that Harry's dead. You should hate me."

Lily took his face into her hand and looked him full in the face. "James, I don't blame you."

"You should," he replied. "Every night I run over the same thing. I make a different decision and we're all together and safe."

"I think about him every day too." Lily took his hand and stroked the back of it with her thumb. "Every morning I awake expecting to hear him, then it hits me all at once." She could hear the break in her voice and she could feel her eyes welling up. "Sometimes in the night, I think I hear him cry and I want to go to him, make things better. Things will never be better, I'll never hold him again and even though all I want to do is curl into a ball."

"Oh thank god you're here." He took her into his arms and he held her. She leaned into his embrace; they hadn't done much touching since the fateful night. It felt good to be in his strong arms and she inhaled his scent. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

He held her tighter. "Lily, I love you too."

She responded in kind, tears running down her face. "Our boy's gone and life will never be the same, but somehow we have to muddle through."

"Somehow," he echoed, before his lips were on hers. Their kisses were desperate and hungry as they clung to one another.  
**********************

 

Despite, the time spent in the school, so far Lily had yet to exchange more then a few words with her old school friend. The loss of her son had made her reevaluate her life and she decided she needed to make amends, given she had never accepted his apology in school. She decided that if anybody was going to have to make the first move, it would have to be herself. She was the one who ended the friendship in the first place. Maybe it was her imagination but he seemed to be leaving the room whenever she entered. She wondered if he was deliberately avoiding her or he just didn't care. That thought made her sad. He had been her best friend once after all. One day she finally ran into him in the library, perusing the book shelves for some tome or other.

"Hello, Severus," Lily said quietly, making him jump.

"Oh, good evening, Mrs Potter." His voice sounded cold and harsh.

Lily rolled her eyes. "We've known each other for years. There's no need to be so informal. We used to be friends after all."

"Lily, then." He kept his gaze averted from her face, but at least he spoke her given name. It was a start at least.

She searched for a topic of conversation. "So, how are you finding teaching?" she asked.

"I would prefer teaching Defence against the Dark Arts to be honest. Most children are too foolish to understand the subtleties of potion making."

She smiled fondly at him. "You haven't changed a bit."

He shook his head and a harsh laugh escaped his mouth. "I've changed more than you could imagine."

He looked so sad for a moment, but then he cleared his face of all visible emotion. She was struck by the knowledge that they didn't know each other anymore. Many times after they had fallen out, she had found herself wondering if they ever had really. They both stood there awkwardly in silence.

"I best be off," she said, after the silence finally got the better of her. She turned to walk away when he called her name. "Lily."

"Yes?" she asked.

His tone was soft when he spoke. "I'm sorry for what happened to your son."

"I am too," she whispered. "Thank you."

She met his eyes for a moment. He appeared to struggle for words for a moment. "I might hate your husband, but not you and your son."

She looked at him puzzled as to why he felt the need to say such a thing. Before she got a chance to reply, he nodded at her and walked away from her and out the library door.  
***************

 

Severus was all over the place after the conversation with Lily. He really wanted to tell her his secret and prostrate before her begging forgiveness. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help wishing it all the same. It was selfish to want it and as much as Severus tried to pretend he was beyond simple human desires, when it came to Lily he was always subject to same passions and emotions as everybody else. He was on his way to the Headmaster's office for a meeting about the Dark Lord. He had taken the news of the deaths of the Longbottoms quite hard indeed, considering he was responsible for the deaths of a whole family now as well as a little boy. The other Death Eaters were jealous for the favour he had earned with his "master". It made him sick to his stomach and all Lily wanted to do was talk to him as if they were teenagers again. He didn't know how much longer he could continue to walk this precarious tightrope. When he reached the gargoyles outside the Headmaster's office, he spoke the password "custard creams."

The door opened before him and Albus Dumbledore was sitting before his desk with a serious look on his face. "How are you, Severus?"

Severus ignored the attempt at small talk. "Is there any further news?"

Dumbledore sighed at his curtness. "No Peter Pettigrew is still at large. The Death Eaters that killed the Longbottoms are also nowhere to be found. If you are correct in surmising that it was the work of Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband then I can assure you they have gone underground as they do not appear to be at their mansion or indeed at the Malfoy mansion."

Severus grimaced. "I guessed as much." It was terribly frustrating to have to sit back and do nothing. He clenched his fists. If only he could get his hands on Peter Pettigrew. Pettigrew did not even merit a place among the other Death Eaters or at least he had not seen at any of the meetings. It probably was a good thing seeing as he didn't think he would be able to keep his cover if he got the chance to kill the coward. The Headmaster was giving him a shrewd look. "Severus, you have done as much as you can."

"But it wasn't enough," Severus shouted.

"Calm yourself." Severus felt chastened. The Headmaster continued, "No, it wasn't enough, but you are saving many lives with the information that you have been giving me."

The young man gave a derisive snort at that. "I wish I could believe that, when I find myself in a position where I must watch some other innocent lose their live. It's all well and good for you here. You can plan for the greater good here in your office, and yet I have to actually live it."

"You made a promise, Severus."

"I know I did. I'm not retracting it." The young man took a deep breath before speaking again. "I want to tell Lily everything."

Dumbledore shook his head. "You can't tell her. What point do you think that will serve? Do you think unburdening yourself on her will make you feel better? This information is to remain strictly between ourselves for your safety. If your true loyalties were to get out then you would be dead."

"Spare me your sentimentality, Headmaster. We both know the most important thing to preserve is my role as spy. All you care about is defeating the Dark Lord."

The older man reacted as if he had been slapped. "Severus, I don't think so little of you."

Severus knew better; he was expendable for the greater good. "Let's just agree to disagree then." The young man turned on his heel and walked out the door.

TO BE CONTINUED…

********************

Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


	5. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily reacquaints herself with an old friend and another friend comes to Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own anything and more's the pity.

Chapter Four: Old Friends

The weather was still cold and the student population of Hogwarts had been hit by numerous bugs and illnesses. This in itself was normal what with the weather, but that coupled with a sudden outbreak of Dragon Pox meant that the Infirmary was full of sick children. When Lily walked in she could see the Mediwitch was run off her feet.

"Hi Poppy," she said. "You look like you could do with another pair of hands."

Poppy was looking extremely harassed with her hair flying all over the place. "The best thing you can do, dear, is help Severus with brewing. He has all the normal potions to brew as well as the potions for the pox."

"Are you sure you're okay here?" Lily asked, unwilling to leave the poor woman to deal with the chaos alone.

"Of course." Poppy practically shoved her out the door. "Besides, if I need any help Pomona or Minerva will be here in a thrice. If Severus' time is freed up, he can brew the potions faster. I swear the sick children are doubling by the day."

Lily headed down towards the dungeons, where she knew his classroom and office were located. She found him eventually bent over a cauldron. "Poppy said you could do with a little help."

Severus looked up startled at her arrival. Due to current events he had been left with the task of ensuring all the potions were fully stacked, along with his own teaching responsibilities. Poppy normally made the more basic everyday potions, leaving Severus free to do the more complicated ones.

"Thanks," he muttered, as he concentrated on the potion before him. "Be with you in a moment." After a moment or two, he drew away from his cauldron.

"That potion I remember from Slughorn's classes." She gave him a reassuring smile to let him know she understood his inattention to her. The potion he was brewing required a number of important steps that required constant attention and she had interrupted during one of those vital parts.

"So how can I help?" she asked. "Although, I might be a little rusty."

"Mrs Potter-" he began. Lily glared at him. "Sorry, Lily. As I was saying, I would trust very few to help me with brewing the potions for the infirmary. You are one of them."

She felt warm at his compliment of her potion making skills. "Thanks," she said, bashfully.

"It's no compliment, Lily. It's the truth."

Lily smiled at him. "So will you give me the grand tour?"

Severus showed her to the cupboard, where all the utensils and ingredients were stored.

He was quick to get to the matter at hand though. "Can you start with a batch of pepper up potion?"

Lily rolled up her sleeves. "Great. It's just like old times, Severus."

He gave her what appeared to be a forced smile and went back to work as she started on preparing the utensils she would need. She grabbed a large cauldron and sat it down on the other end of the table.  
************

 

A couple of hours and potions later, both Severus and Lily were exhausted. They didn't go to the Great Hall for dinner, instead deciding to have the house elves deliver dinner there instead. Lily had sent a message to James via one of the house elves to explain she was absent. She deliberately left out the part that she was with Severus, knowing that he wouldn't like it. She would mention it later on in the safety of their quarters. Lily had known it would be a long day if she didn't make idle chat with the potions master, but conversing with Severus Snape could be difficult at the best of times. Nevertheless, she had managed to make him open up a little. It appeared appealing to his passion for potion making was the lucky charm.

"No, no, no," he insisted, "that would compromise the efficacy of the potion."

"Only if you used too much," she contended.

"Merlin, Lily! Let's just agree to disagree and be done with it."

They had spent the last hour discussing and debating the value of various potion ingredients. Prior to that the conversation had mainly been related to the matter at hand and polite meaningless exchanges about the weather and how they spent their day. Lily looked at her watch and was shocked at how late it was.

"Sorry, Severus, I really have to go. I really enjoyed today."

She gave him a small smile, as she got up to leave.

"I did also, Lily. Thanks for the help." He inclined his head in a polite bow. She never failed to be amazed at how different he was to the boy she had known. He was so formal to her and that hurt that he was keeping his distance from her. Why she wondered? Was he afraid of being hurt again or was it that he no longer cared? Somehow, she suspected it was the former.  
***************

 

Lily left the dungeons and made her way back to her rooms. Brewing with Severus had also brought up further questions to the forefront of her mind. Back when they had been in school, they had lots of ambitions for the future. She knew it wasn't doing her or James any good being cooped up in the castle. She had been playing with the idea of leaving the school and had even brought the matter up with her husband. James had suggested moving in with Sirius, but there was no way she was agreeing to that. As fond as she was of Sirius, when those two men were together the two men reverted to behaving like children. It was half eight before Lily arrived back to her quarters. She was surprised to see Sirius there. 

He came over and gave her a warm hug. "Hey, Lily."

She squeezed him back. "Hi, Sirius. How are you keeping?"

Sirius let her go and threw himself down on their couch. "Good, actually. Dumbledore has been keeping me busy."

She gave him a smirk. "Well somebody has to."

He gave her a mock wounded look. "You hurt me deep, woman."

James rolled his eyes at their banter. He turned to his wife. "So, you said you were busy helping out with making potions for the infirmary all day. Poppy made it to dinner. Why didn't you?"

She gave him a sheepish look waiting for the reaction the revelation would bring. "I was helping Severus. Normally Poppy makes a lot of the potions that don't require much preparation, but with all the kids being sick, she hasn't had a chance, meaning he was left with the task of doing her work as well as his."

As she predicted he didn't look too happy. "You're telling me you were brewing with Snivellus all day." He shook his head with disgust, while Sirius mirrored his expression.

"Don't call him that. You're a grown man for goodness sake."

"I don't like it, Lily. I know the guy was your best friend, but don't forget he called you a mudblood. I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I've not forgotten," she muttered. "But, I forgave him a long time ago."

He appeared to watch her cautiously. "Fine," he conceded, with a light kiss to her temple. "It's your decision. Just be careful." She smiled gratefully at him. She shouldn't have doubted him.

Sirius was unable to hold his tongue and interrupted. "Lil, I don't care what Dumbledore says. I don't trust him."

"I trust Dumbledore's judgement and so should you." She glared at him. "The last time we went against Dumbledore's wishes we lost Harry."

Sirius looked as if he had been slapped and she immediately regretted the harshness of her words. She had never spoken with either James or Sirius about the decision with the last minute switch in Secret Keepers. Sirius got up to leave with a desolate look on his face; one which was matched on her husband's.

"Sorry, Sirius." She grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away. "Don't leave. I didn't mean it like it sounded. I don't blame either of you. I'm as much to blame in that idiotic decision. I went along with it after all."

Sirius wrenched his arm from her grasp and sat down again. All three remained in silence at that. There was still no news on Peter. No one knew where he was. The other party injured by the Secret Keeper swap was Remus Lupin. He had appeared at the funeral for Harry and given them his condolences, but he hadn't spoken to them since, avoiding them at the Order meetings. He was clearly hurt that they had believed him to be the spy.

"Have you spoken with Remus recently?" she asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Somehow, I don't think he'll ever forgive us."  
*************************************************

 

To be continued

 

I'm still kind of setting the scene here so sorry if it seems to be taking a while to get going. Certain developments have to happen before I can get the nitty gritty part.

Thanks for reading.


	6. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. Severus gets some disquieting news from Voldemort and Remus reconnects with Lily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot of this story. Everything you recognize is borrowed from Jk Rowling.

 

 **The End of the World**  
  
**Chapter Five: Meetings**  
  
It was almost three in the morning and Severus was lying in his bed wide awake. He looked up a the the cream ceiling, willing himself to sleep. He was finding it increasingly difficult to sleep these days and this night was no exception. He was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. Yet, sleep would not come, his eyes remained open, though they pricked painfully and there was a tension headache causing a dull ache in his skull. He found himself moving restlessly in his bed. Eventually, he tossed off the green duvetand sat up, giving up on sleep. He would have to be up in three hours anyway if he wanted to get the latest batch of potions completed before breakfast in the Great Hall. He made his way out of his bedroom, through his living room and into the little kitchenette. He tapped his wand on the kettle to boil the water inside and reached for a mug. There was no need to avoid caffeine now when he was longer planning on sleeping. Perhaps a mug of coffee would waken him enough to start brewing again? He poured himself some coffee and took the mug into the living room. He sat at the table and let his mind run over the events of the day. It had been both pleasant and torture brewing with Lily; It was a reminder of simpler times, when a day spent in each other's company was all they needed to soothe every worry and fear. Not so now. He couldn't afford to let her grow close, seeing the daily pain that she lived with and did her best to hide. To know that he was cause of that pain and that grief tore at his heart. He couldn't in all good conscience let their friendship be revived while he was hiding such things from her. Of course the situation with the Dark Lord was another cause for his insomnia. With every day that passed since the death of little Harry Potter, the Dark Lord was growing in strength and the number of his Death Eaters was swelling considerably. This knowledge lay heavy on Severus' mind. For all his planning with Dumbledore they had little to work from. Despite his best efforts neither master felt they were getting enough. At least Dumbledore's disappointment didn't involve a round of crucio, and that was about the only thing to be grateful for.  
  
  
  
  
  
A few hours later, Severus was preparing to go to the Great Hall for his breakfast when his mark flared to life, and he gasped at the pain of it. It wasn't like the Dark Lord to call him in the early mornings when he had dunderheaded little fools to teach. The Dark Lord was getting more and more impatient these days, despite the progress he had made. Severus scrambled as quickly as he could, dressing in a rush. He wrote a cryptic note to Dumbledore and summoned an elf to take it to the Headmaster in case he would miss his first class. He left his chambers at a brisk pace and opened the front doors to the castle. It was a dark and dreary morning, much like Severus himself was feeling. He tried to clear his mind of all of the emotions and made sure his shields were in place. Was this some sort of show of power that the Dark Lord wanted to have over Dumbledore or was there a more sinister reason for the summons. Hopefully his "master" wouldn't detain him too long or render him injured before he had to return to his monotonous job of educating miscreants. Once he was sure there was nobody around to see him, he ran to gates of the school, cloak billowing behind him. He opened the gates with a brisk tap of the wand and stepped out of the grounds. He closed them with another tap of the wand, and then put his finger on the Mark to take him whatever destination the blood thirsty despot had in mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
It turned out that the destination was the Lestrange mansion. As Severus stood in the opulent surroundings of the mansion, he shuddered a little. He felt sick to his stomach at this unusual occurrence, but quickly composed himself for his audience with his so-called master. He opened the door before him with faux assurance and gave a little bow.  
  
"My lord," he said.  
  
"Ah, young Severus." The Dark Lord's eyes bored into his. "How is dear Mrs Potter dealing with her loss?"  
  
Severus could hear the sneer in his voice. "As well as would be expected, my lord. However, I confess that I'm not in her confidence."  
  
Voldemort gave him an appraising look. "I would have imagined that you would be attempting to re-establish your friendship and offer your condolences."  
  
Severus was getting quite worried now. Did the Dark Lord know something? Did he suspect his loyalty? He managed to keep a veneer of calm, although inside he was anything but.  
  
"With respect, my lord," Severus began, "she has her husband for any comfort she requires. Perhaps in time, we can pursue a friendship, although it is difficult when her husband and I despise each other so much."  
  
Voldemort pressed on. "Still, some women would be happy to do a favour for one who saved their life."  
  
"She doesn't know, my lord." Severus spoke quietly  
  
Voldemort gave a harsh laugh. "Perhaps, that's the wisest course." He paused a moment before speaking again. "We might be able to arrange an accident for the husband though. Would you like that, Severus?"  
  
The young man's mouth went dry at that. "Of course," he lied. "I would be very much in your debt." Oh God, how Lily would hate him if she could hear him now.  
  
"No promises," Voldemort said, "but if the opportunity presents itself.."  
  
Severus was both puzzled and unsettled by this exchange. It was unusual for the Dark Lord to have summoned him for such an exchange. Surely this could have waited for a more reasonable hour or maybe he just liked to play mind games? Voldemort smirked, as if he was reading in mind. If the young man didn't know better, he would swear his shields were down.  
  
"Severus, I have a mission for you. I think you will enjoy it. I hear there's an experimental potion called Wolfsbane being developed by potion master called Damocles. I wish for you to get a copy of the recipe. He is visiting Hogsmeade next weekend and I wish to give you ample time to arrange a meeting."  
  
Severus was gobsmacked. It was clear that the Dark Lord must be attempting to ally himself with the werewolves. Having such a powerful potion would surely recruit many who suffer lycanthropy to the cause. After all once the potion was fully developed and patented, it would prove expensive to purchase and those who were most in need of it were unable to retain a job.   
  
"Very well, my lord." He nodded in agreement.

This was no doubt a test. He would have to procure the potion, somehow, and preferably without the use of Dark magic. The last thing he needed was the Aurors on his back. Dumbledore could only do so much. He had no idea how; Potion makers guarded their unpatented creations obsessively.  
  
"You best return to that school of yours." This was clearly a dismissal and he turned to leave.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus Lupin was in a bind. He really missed his best friends, but he was still upset at the fact that they had believed him to be traitor. He had received an owl from Lily asking him to meet her in the Three Broomsticks. He had rejected all their offers of olive branches before, but somehow this message from Lily has succeeded in breaching his defences. So, here he was sitting in a corner booth waiting for the redhead to arrive. She had promised not to bring James or Sirius with her, and he trusted her word. She had betrayed him along with the others, but they weren't as close and she didn't know him as well. For that reason he found it easier to forgive her, although he couldn't face James and Sirius just yet. Remus started when the door to the pub opened and sure enough, there was the woman in question and as agreed alone. He rose to greet her and she kissed his cheek when she reached him.  
  
"Remus, how are you?" She looked worriedly at him.  
  
"I'm fine, Lily." He met her eyes warmly. "It's good to see you. You're looking well."  
  
"Thanks." She blushed at the compliment.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, before Remus broke it. "How are you holding up?"  
  
"I'm coping," she said, honestly. She gave him a wan smile. "I think about Harry every day, but I get by. I keep myself busy mainly, because when I stop-"  
  
Remus nodded knowing what she meant.   
  
He squirmed guiltily. "Sorry, I've kept away."  
  
Lily shook her head and patted him arm gently. "Don't be sorry. We understand, Remus. You've a right to be angry at us. Of course you're hurt."  
  
"Still, you had a terrible loss, and I haven't been there. To be honest I'm not angry really, just hurt."  
  
"James and Sirius would really love to see you. Did you think you could pop by sometime?"  
  
There was the question he had dreaded all morning but he found the answer was easy. He did want to be reconciled with his former friends. Whether he could trust them or not was another story however. He nodded. "Soon, I promise. I'm just not ready yet."  
  
  
  
To be continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you all think.


	7. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus has

The End of the World

Chapter Six: Fear

Severus returned to Hogwarts with a heavy heart. He knew he had to debrief Dumbledore as soon as possible. He decided he would send his owl to the Headmaster saying he needed to speak with him. He was relieved that he didn't encounter anyone on his return. He had every right to walk the school and grounds, but didn't wish to gather any interest in his late night wanderings. A suspicious colleague was the last thing he wanted; It was bad enough having to maintain a facade in Death Eater company. It was a half hour before Dumbledore returned his owl with a missive stating he would speak with him straight after breakfast. It was nearly time for breakfast at that stage; however, he didn't have class for another two hours after that. His mind was reeling with events of the morning and the implications that this would have on the wider wizarding community as well as his own position as spy. After about an hour of ruminating pointlessly on the matter, he decided a walk before breakfast would be in order. Perhaps, it would help ease his restlessness. He went for a stroll about the grounds.

 

A few hours later Dumbledore sat in his office, touching his chin thoughtfully. Severus had a lot of interesting news to give him and it certainly was worrying that Tom was planning on getting the werewolves on his side. Something must be done about this immediately. He needed an ambassador to the werewolves or even better a spy. There had only been one werewolf in all his years at Hogwarts; Remus John Lupin. He wondered would the boy agree to the job. This sort of question was best put in person and certainly not wise to put in a letter in case it was intercepted. He took out his quill and began to pen a letter requesting that Lupin come to Hogwarts and meet him. He also suggested that it would be an opportunity to meet with the Potters. He felt a twinge of guilt that the manipulation, but it was for the greater good after all.

 

After his classes ended for the day, Severus threw himself onto his chair. The chair behind his desk was rarely used during class time, as brewing potions could be a dangerous. He was exhausted and the last thing he expected was to see Lily in the doorway.

"Hi." She looked sheepishly at him. "Can I come in?"

He nodded his consent. "Is there anything in particular I can help you with?"

"No, not really."

He raised his brow enquiringly. "Really?" he asked.

She looked sheepishly at him and made her way towards him. "I was wondering if you fancied doing some brewing together again? I really enjoyed last time."

He had too until afterwards when he remembered that he had no right enjoying her companionship when he was the reason her child was dead. 

She stopped right in front of his desk and gave him a nervous little smile. "Well?"

The familiar expression made his heart ache once again with the memories of their time in school together. "Why do you wish to renew our friendship again all of a sudden? You made no effort since the end of fifth year no matter how much I begged you to forgive me."

Her face fell at that snide remark and made her way around to his side of the desk.

"That's not fair, Severus." Her eyes were in angry slits. "I was right to be angry. You called me a Mudblood."

"I remember." God - did he remember. "I never said you weren't right to be angry but I'm wondering what the hell has changed to make you suddenly think I'm good enough after all to be the friend of the superior Lily Evans."

She grasped his arm angrily. "What is your problem you jerk?"

He flinched at her touch. "Don't!"

She drew back surprised at the tone of his voice. "What? Don't want to have the filthy Mudblood touch you?"

"If that's what you want to think, then yes." He stood up abruptly and left the room without another word. He knew he had been unfair to her. Yet, he was so angry all the time. The guilt he felt at delivering the prophecy pressed upon him, her presence was driving him to distraction and he needed to have his wits about him if he was going to survive this war. Why couldn't she leave and go anywhere else but here? At the same time, the idea of her not being there was painful to contemplate and that was foolish he knew as he had coped without her presence this last number of years. Something Lucius said to him years ago briefly surfaced in his mind. "She'll be the death of you, Snape!" It seemed there was no solution. Whatever happened would be painful. He needed to stop thinking about her, but that was like asking himself to stop breathing. He didn't stop walking until he reached his rooms. He threw open the doors of his private Potion stores and began to rummage through his cupboards. Perhaps brewing a potion would help him to take his mind off his troubles – Lily and the Dark lord.

 

Lord Voldemort sat in the high backed chair in front of a roaring fire, while Lucius Malfoy entered the room. The room had a high ceiling and was decorated ostentatiously with chandeliers. He had asked the Lestranges for the best room in their house and he wasn't disappointed. The Dark Lord was awaiting on a report from Malfoy on a meeting he had with a number of the Death Eaters' children during the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. 

He gave Malfoy a calculating look. "So, tell me Lucius, how did the little brats take to your suggestions?"

Malfoy gave a little nod to his master. He was clearly delighted with the responsibility being given to him and a little terrified also by the prospect. When Malfoy spoke it was carefully. "The Hogsmeade visit seemed to go well, my Lord. A number seemed interested in the idea. However, we must proceed cautiously."

"Don't patronize me, Lucius. I'm well aware of that. I want a report on what developments there are. Or do you have nothing at all to tell me?"

His eyes narrowed dangerously, daring Malfoy to displease him.

Malfoy shuddered. "No, my Lord. There are three or four prospective Death Eaters and four more that I'm unsure of."

"Good work, Lucius." Voldemort looked at his protégé approving. "Now was that so hard? You can leave. Shut the door behind you. I wish to be alone."

Malfoy bowed and did as requested. Voldemort tapped his long finger lightly on the table, as he pondered this latest information. Things were going well if young Lucius was to be believed. The young witches and wizards in Hogwarts are the future Death Eaters, and the sooner he could bring them over to his cause, then the harder it would be for Dumbledore to indoctrinate them to his weak minded philosophies and politics. Wizards would be great again and Muggles would take their rightful place in society at last.

 

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all those who have been reading. Sorry it was a little on the short side.


	8. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore decides he knows what's best for everyone and Sirius has some big news for James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to dedicate this to my wonderful friend and sounding board Sonya for all the help with some plot issues, to Wickedwackowizz at the HPN for the enthusiasm, and to Excessivelyperky from Fanfiction.net for the review that spurred me into facing into that writer's block.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own words and plot. Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling.
> 
> This is along overdue update. Sorry for the delay. I hit quite the writer's block in relation to this story.

The End of the World  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Harry held his hands out begging her to pick him up. “Mama!”  
  
Lily looked at her baby boy and drank in all his features, his dark hair and his eyes so like hers. For some reason it felt like it had been age since she had seen him, though she couldn’t remember why. She bent down to pick up her baby but her arms went right through him.   
  
Harry began to cry, his face scrunched up and the colour of beetroot. “Mama!” he called. “Up Mama!”  
  
She reached for him once more and somehow she could feel her hands passing through his little body again. She couldn’t understand.  
  
“Harry!” She wrung her hands helpless.   
  
As if he could feel her fear, Harry was starting to get hysterical and her baby’s cries were cutting right through her, almost a physical pain. James materialized beside her and she tugged at his robes.  
  
“Pick him up, James,” she urged him, desperation in her voice. “I can’t pick him up.”  
  
James didn’t seem to notice her or was just ignoring her. How could James just stand there and listen to his son cry and not do anything?  
  
She made to pick up her son again and though she managed to catch him this time, he slipped through her fingers. A dark void opened from beneath them and began to swallow them both up. Harry started wailing even harder as they fell. She screamed at the top of her lungs and she could feel somebody shaking her.   
  
She shot up in bed and James was holding her to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Lily, it’s okay. I’m here.”  
  
It was a nightmare, but Harry was still gone. She clung to her husband, but she knew as well as he that it wasn’t okay, it would never be okay again. Harry was stolen from them. Voldemort had robbed them of their baby; they would never see Harry grow, start Hogwarts, get married or have little babies of their own. Tears ran down her face and splashed onto her husband’s shoulders. She trembled a little and James pulled her closer trying to comfort her. How could he possibly soothe her when he was equally in such pain? Eventually, Lily tired herself out and fell back to sleep in her husband’s arms.  
  
  
  
Despite the early hour of the morning, Dumbledore sat in the Headmaster’s office, his phoenix was on its usual perch in the corner of the room. The peace of the office was unusual in the days since Tom Riddle took on the rest of the wizarding world. Dumbledore was waiting for the man, if one could truly call him that, to make a bold move now that he had apparently murdered the infants referred to in the prophecy. Oh Tom! Was there anything I could have done for you as your teacher? He was taking things very slowly and Millicent Bagnold and the Ministry of Magic didn’t know where to turn. It made Dumbledore very uneasy especially seeing as he view himself as a good reader of human behaviour. But then he knew that there was little human left in Voldemort these days.   
  
His other spy was his ace in the hole. The information he had provided thus far was incredibly important, though Dumbledore was loathe to act on it just yet. Besides, he had no doubt that Tom had more than one Horcrux. He needed to time the destruction just right; there was no point in destroying one only to let Tom know he was onto him and for even more to be created as a reaction. He needed to remain steps ahead of his former student. He knew this put his young spy in a precarious situation. The boy had thought Dumbledore would help him fabricate his death and send him out of the country. No wonder that Voldemort had been able to recruit him with his naivety. Dumbledore would do what needed to be done for the greater good, but it grieved him to put people in danger. As soon as he was no longer valuable in Tom’s fold, he could pull the boy out. He had never told Severus about the other spy in his midst. At least then if one of them was compromised, the other would be safe.   
  
The fate of young Severus had been worrisome of late also. The boy might be in the middle of the Death Eaters, but he suspected that Severus’ loyalty was regarded as questionable. This assignment with the Wolfsbane potion was no doubt a test, one that he could not fail but to provide that information to the Death Eaters was unthinkable. Dumbledore just hoped their plan would be enough to satisfy his master for a while. Nevertheless, the fact that Tom would gamble on Severus meant he viewed him as a very important asset. If it has been another Death Eater even a whiff of suspicion would have resulted in death already. The anxiety that came with this knowledge was only amplified by his concern at the growing relationship between his spy and Lily Potter and the obvious disapproval of James. At first, although, he had some apprehension, he had been delighted to see the pair rekindle their friendship. Now, he was having second thoughts. It was putting Lily in unnecessary danger and meaning that Severus had more secrets to hide from his master. There was also the fact that the boy was tempted to unload his guilt onto Lily, who would not take it well. This folly would do nobody any service; Severus would still feel guilty, Lily would be furious. She would almost certainly tell her husband, and he already hated Severus. He was starting to think that it might be best for all parties if the Potters were to leave the school. They were no longer targets as Harry had been killed. They would no longer be considered anything other than pesky Order members. They weren’t going to be able to move forward with their lives while they hid in Hogwarts. He could see how torn Severus was, his heart was breaking seeing James and Lily together and he didn’t want to push away his friend despite this hurt. The Headmaster had misjudged the boy’s love for the woman. This situation was dangerous, dangerous for all of them. For once the man was unsure how to proceed without worsening the situation. He put his fingers to a temple massaging his forehead and reached for the pensieve. He might have to take one of the headache potions that Severus had brewed if decluttering his mind didn’t work.  
  
  
A little ray of sunlight shone in the window of the bedroom. James held his wife to him, she was still sound asleep. He pressed his lips gently to her forehead and kissed her lightly. Thank Merlin she had survived.   
  
He couldn’t begin to imagine how he would have coped if she had died too. She rarely talked about Harry, but every night she tossed and she turned. The pain of the loss of their beloved son hung over them, though they both coped with it in different ways. Sometimes, he felt there was a gulf between them and other times he thought their pain bound them together. Snape sniffing around his wife didn’t help. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Lily. Of course he did, but Snape was using his wife’s kind and forgiving nature as well as the fact that she was in a vulnerable place to weasel a way back into her life. He didn’t like it. However, it was her decision and if it made her happy who was he to interfere. He looked on her. She looked peaceful and he was loathe to wake her especially after such a restless night. He carefully extricated himself from her and laid her head down on the pillow.  
  
“I love you,” he whispered.  
  
James felt so helpless in all this. He had been out of the house when Voldemort broke in and tore their family apart. The guilt was more than he could bear sometimes and he thought about getting away from it all, not poisoning Lily by his very presence. Especially after a few drinks. He needed to find a purpose, a distraction from the gaping hole Harry had left behind. He needed revenge on the monster that killed his child, turned his life apart and made every day a waking nightmare. James’ thoughts were interrupted by the nose of Lily shifting in the bed. He wondered if she was going to wake but she let out a little unladylike snort. With one last fond smile, he grabbed the clothes he had laid out the night before and made his way to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the day.  
  
  
  
  
Dumbledore knocked gently on the Potters’ door. He was hoping to catch James alone, knowing he would be the more receptive of the two. Sure enough James appeared at the door a few moments later.   
  
“Headmaster?” He tousled his hair. “What are you doing here?”  
  
The Headmaster smiled, “Just a private word, if you please.”  
  
“Sorry Professor. I’m just surprised. Come on in. Excuse the mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”   
  
Dumbledore surveyed the room and noticed the dirty plates and laundry. “Indeed,” he said dryly.  
  
“I promised Lils I would do the laundry this morning before she went to the Infirmary to help Madam Pompfrey. I wasn’t expecting her until at least lunchtime.”  
  
“I’ll cut to the chase. I have a proposition for you, but firstly I would like a nice cup of tea. I’m parched and I find discussions of this type are more pleasant with a beverage.”  
  
James nodded and went to the little kitchenette. Dumbledore moved some clothes from the comfy looking armchair and sat down. The boy returned a minute later with a pot of steaming tea, bowl of sugar cubes, jug of milk, two mugs and an assortment of sweet biscuits. He put the tray down on the coffee table.  
“Lovely,” Dumbledore said. “Sit my boy, we’ll get straight to business.”  
James took the less comfy chair on the other side of the coffee table and poured the tea. The Headmaster reached for one of the bourbon creams while he waited.  
  
“How can I help you?” James asked.  
  
The older wizard felt a pang of regret at the knowledge he had been unable to keep this man’s boy safe. However, he had been around a long time and was able to hide any of the emotions on his face.  
  
“As much as we have enjoyed having yourself and Lily staying at Hogwarts, it might be time for you to move on. To be frank, I feel that the longer that you two stay the harder it will be to go back to your normal lives.”  
  
No sooner had the words escaped his mouth, he realised his mistake.   
So too had James. “With respect, our lives can never go back to where they were, Headmaster.”  
  
“Forgive me for my clumsy words. What I mean to say is that you’re both putting off any decisions about your future. As happy as we are to offer solace and sanctuary to those who need it at Hogwarts, for both your sakes, I think you need to decide what you want to do with your lives. If you are intent on remaining at Hogwarts, you’re more than welcome, but sitting around all day in a stupor does you or indeed your wife no good.”  
  
Dumbledore could see James flinch at the reproach. He knew the words were harsh.   
  
“Professor, we don’t wish to be a burden, but what are we supposed to do? I can’t go back to Godric’s Hollow and though we spoke about moving in with Sirius, Lily vetoed that idea.”  
  
“You’re never a burden, my boy. I am fond of both of you. Understand, I would offer you teaching positions if they were available, but we already have excellent teachers in the subjects which you excel. If you’re not quite ready to move back to the outside, wizarding world, I could find you accommodation in a holiday home I have in Ireland or a friend of mine owes me some favours and has a house in France that is idle most of the year.”  
  
“Thank you for the offer,” James replied stiffly. “It’s probably best if we make our own arrangements.”  
  
Dumbledore could see the young man was a little hurt and probably needed time to think on the situation. He knew another young man, who would probably blow a fuse when he found out. Outside of the protection of Hogwarts, the Potters would be a lot more vulnerable, however, they were no longer being chased by Voldemort. After all, once he killed their son, they were no further threat to him. They were both experienced Order members and more than capable of protecting themselves.  
  
  
  
James sat on the armchair, looking at his glass of Firewhiskey in his hand. He swirled the ingredients around and gazed at the amber liquid. It was still early, but it had been a trying day and Dumbledore’s words ran around his head. James gulped down half of the glass, relishing the burning in his throat. The old man may not have said they were outstaying their welcome in so many words, but it was clearly the case. James had known it all along. At least Lily kept herself busy helping the Mediwitch and Snape with potions. All James had to offer inside these walls was helping refereeing the odd Quidditch and taking the occasional lesson when the Professor was poorly. Instead of doing something he was drinking and thinking too much.   
  
He knew he should be out there fighting the good fight, but he didn’t know how to move on, how to be James Potter again, the James that that never had a child and lost him. Fuck it. If he left Hogwarts it would mean he would have to take stock of everything, sell up Godric’s Hollow. The idea of going back there filled him with dread.   
  
Lily, in her own way, was avoiding moving on, trying to pretend she was back in school making Potions with Snivellus. James’ grip on the glass tightened and he put the glass to his mouth downing the rest of the liquid. Getting drunk sounded very appealing but he knew Lily wouldn’t approve. Then again she knew he didn’t like Snape. So all’s fair in love and war, he reflected grimly.   
  
The thought of war reminded him yet again of the beautiful son he had lost, a child that had not had a chance to make his mark on the world. He refilled his glass even as his tears blinded him. A sob of anguish escaped his lips.   
  
This circle of utter desperation, helplessness and grief usually hit him at least once a week when he would drown his sorrows. Lily would give him a lecture before enveloping him in her arms and letting him cry.   
  
His wife was so strong. Of course, she had her moments too. Her night-time terrors happened frequently and she would wake him up calling for their lost son. He closed his eyes in a bid to stop the tears and took a deep swallow of the alcohol.   
  
The action calmed him somewhat and he opened his eyes again, reached for the copy of the Daily Prophet Lily had been looking at during breakfast. James usually avoided the paper due to the unavoidable mentions of the escalated Death Eater activity and much of the reports led him to believe the Ministry of Magic was being infiltrated by Death Eaters or those under the Imperius curse. Before he could begin reading the front page, there was an insistent knock on the door.   
  
Frowning, James got to his feet and went to open the door.  
  
A pale looking Sirius stood there, his eyes seemed to glittering with excitement. Knowing what his best friend had to say was probably important, so stepped back and let the man in.  
  
As soon as the door closed behind him, he turned to Sirius, “What’s wrong?”   
  
“There’s something you should know about Wormtail,” Sirius said. “I haven’t told Dumbledore. I thought I should tell you first.”  
  
“What about that bastard?” James asked, the knot in his chest contracting painfully.  
  
Sirius put his hand on James’ shoulder, “I know where Peter is. I know where the treacherous bastard is and we’re going to get him and teach him what happens when you betray your friends.”  
  
Perhaps, it was the alcohol impairing his judgement or the rage coursing through his veins. James knew he should tell Dumbledore and let the Order or the Aurors deal with it, but this meant he would be able to confront the coward himself.   
  
“Tell me everything.”  
  
  
To be continued…


	9. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius reveals Peter's whereabouts, Dumbledore's other spy is revealed and Severus makes plans to go to Malfoy manor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay - I am back! Sorry for the wait.
> 
> I have taken Liberty with canon as Regulus Black as he is still alive in this story. I am trying to get back to updating regularly in this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.

**The End of the World**  
**Chapter Eight**  


Sirius and James sat opposite one another. James poured him a glass of Fire whiskey and one for himself.  
“And you’re sure?”  
“Positive Prongs. He’s there in Malfoy’s mansion.”  
“It just seems unbelievable.”  
He knew James wasn’t taking to the whereabouts of the traitor but referring to the knowledge that Pete had been the one to betray them to Voldemort. Sirius had always believed that Wormtail was their friend, albeit a little pathetic one with some sycophantic tendencies. He knew he had underestimated the rat and Harry had paid for it in the worst possible way. James and Lily were in so much pain and Sirius felt a responsibility to fix it. After all, he had suggested that Pete be secret keeper. He had thought he was so clever and James had agreed. Lily had taken a little longer to come around but in the end she had agreed too. He knew he was lucky that James and Lily were still his friends. He couldn’t understand how they could bear to look at him when he could barely look at himself.  
_Harry. Little Harry. He’s gone, and it’s all my fault._  
Moony had not forgiven him and likely never would be his friend again. He had to make it to them all and finding the rat was one way in which he could begin to do so. He had to make it right one way or another.  
James had buried his face in his hands, “How could we have trusted him?” He looked up at Sirius through his tousled hair, “Sometimes, I even think that Lily blames me.”  
“What? But that’s insane. He had us all fooled!”  
“It’s not that she has ever said anything, but sometimes I feel like I am losing her a day at a time. She’s different; I’m different.” James shook his head and waved his hand, “Doesn’t matter, forget that I said anything.”  
Sirius felt like his heart was being pulled from his chest. When he first joined the Order, the war was like a game to him. Bad things happened to other people, not to him, not to his friends. It was exciting to be out there fighting against evil and while he believed it was the right thing to do, it was also a way to punish his parents. He had been so foolish and naive.  
“James – I’m sorry. It was my idea.” Sirius balled his fists. “I should have been Secret Keeper. Dumbledore was right, but I was trying to clever, to be a step ahead of Voldemort.” He slammed his fist on the table, “And look where it got us!”  
“We’re all to blame,” James said bitterly. “I still can’t believe he’s gone.”  
The two men lapsed into silence. Sirius hated seeing his best friend this way, full of grief and pain. He was his brother - if not in blood - in every other way. They couldn’t bring Harry back, but they could get justice for his death. They knew where the traitor was; All they needed was a plan. Sirius couldn’t just sit back and do nothing when this was the first read lead that they had.  
“He’s hiding in plain sight, Prongs. We can get him and make him pay for what he’s done.”  
James nodded, but Sirius wasn’t sure if he was even listening. Both glasses were empty and Sirius got up and reached for the bottle. He filled both glasses again and pressed one into James’ hands.  
“Thanks,” James muttered before frowning. “Sirius, how do you know where Wormtail is?”  
“Reg!”  
“And you trust him?”  
“It took me a while, but when he first came to me and begged for help I didn’t.”  
“What convinced you to take him to Dumbledore?”  
“In spite of everything, he is still my little brother.”  
“You Know Fucking Who destroyed many families.” James’ voice was little more than a whisper. “I hate this war, but more than anything I hate Voldemort. He’s taken my boy from me. How can anyone justify killing children?”  
“Some people join because they want to kill, but others like my idiot brother get pulled in before they know what they are doing. Then it’s too late, you can’t just walk away from the Death Eaters.”  
Regulus had gone to Dumbledore with hopes that he could hide him away, send him abroad or keep him safe. Instead, Dumbledore had asked him to go back and gather information. Sirius had only seen him once or twice since that day he had asked him for help in the Hog's Head. It was safer that way. Nobody could know that Reg was a spy, but Sirius couldn't keep it ftorom James and had confided in him. This knowledge of Dumbledore's machinations made him less receptive to the older man's "friendly advice". He respected the man, but he knew beyond doubt the lengths he would go for the greater good. He should have listened to the advice about being Secret Keeper.  
He was about to say as much again when James took his glass and hurled it against the wall. Sirius winced at the crash as the whiskey splashed the wall. Sirius stood up and put his hand on James’ shoulder.  
James shrugged him off, “I’m fine.”  
“No you’re not.” Sirius scratched his head. He felt so helpless. He was no good at comforting people. That was always Moony’s forte. And Lily’s.  
“Where is Lily?”  
“I don’t know. She tries to keep busy. She’s usually helping Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing or brewing Potions with Snivellus. Why she voluntarily spends time in his presence I don't know.”  
Sirius sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come to you and just gone straight to Dumbledore.”  
“No! I am glad you told me.”  
“So what do you want to do?” Sirius surveyed his friend.  
James looked him straight in the eye and Sirius could see the steely glint in his eyes. “We go after him.”  
“Should we tell Dumbledore?”  
“No - if we have to wait for backup we might lose the chance. Besides I want to ask him face to face how he could have done it. I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why.”  
It was just what Sirius wanted to hear. “Let's go see Reg and see what else he knows."  


  
  


_A year ago_

Regulus Black sat in the Hog’s Head, his hood obscuring his face. He was trembling and it wasn’t the cold. He was afraid. No, correction he was absolutely terrified. Would Sirius listen to him? Should he listen?  
Regulus kept his hand on his wand beneath his cloak and prayed he wouldn’t have to use it. Though reaching out to his brother was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew it to be the only way Dumbledore would consent to speaking with him. He may not agree with the Muggle loving fool, but was starting to realise the path Voldemort was taking was nothing like he had ever imagined.  
Dumbledore might not be a homicidal maniac, but he was a tough master. The Muggles’ champion would never agree to help him unless he showed that he was truly willing to leave the Death Eaters.  
He had thought joining the Death Eaters was the honourable thing to do, for his family and for the wizarding society at large. He took only two days after he had been branded by the Dark Lord for the reality of the war to sink in.  
Nevertheless, he tried to harden his heart against all the terrible things he saw and did, tried to forget the faces of the innocent victims he had killed. The deaths of the Muggle lovers in battle was another thing. They knew what they were doing, had agreed to fight and it was a case of kill or be killed.  
There was always the fear, however, that his brother was one of those he would have to fight against. As angry as his brother made him, there was no way he could kill him even if it meant letting Sirius kill him.  
Then he discovered that the maniac was making Horcruxes. Cradling his house elf, he had vowed there and then to take vengeance on the monster. The thought of the Dark Lord being truly immortal made a shiver run down his spine. He thought about destroying the thing in his rage but the more he thought about it, he knew he needed to take this intelligence to Dumbledore and the Order. Destroying one Horcrux couldn’t prevent more being made and what chance did he alone stand against the monster. The only person that had a chance of ending this was his former Headmaster, but he was taking a huge gamble on giving this information. He would offer this in exchange for protection and hopefully, he could finally be free.  
Regulus looked up for the umpteenth time when the door squeaked. A figure entered the bar and he recognised the gait. Sirius walked over to him and sat at the table opposite him.  
"I ordered your drink," Regulus said nodding to the second pint of mead on the table.  
"Is it poisoned?"  
"I swear it's safe."  
Regulus could see his brother's narrowed eyes beneath the hood. "I think I'll pass, Reg. I think you understand why I don't trust you. What did you call me here for?"  
"I want to leave them," Regulus whispered.  
Sirius said nothing but his eyes were wide.  
“I have some very important information to give Dumbledore in exchange for the Order's protection. You have to help me, Siri.”  
“Why should you get protection? Lots of my friends have been killed by you lot. Why should I trust you?”  
“This is big, Sirius. This is bigger than you can even imagine. You have to take me to Dumbledore.”  
“You can tell me the information and then I can decide if we can trust you or not.”  
“I can’t do that,” Regulus managed between gritted teeth.  
Sirius reached for his collar and shook him, “Tell me!”  
“I can’t share this with anybody but Dumbledore. It’s too important, Siri.”  
Up close, Regulus could see the dark circles beneath his brother’s eyes. He was visibly tense at being addressed by his childhood nickname.  
“Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that. Not anymore.”  
“Maybe not, but I’m still your brother.”  
“James is my brother. I don’t care about blood.”  
The admission, though long suspected, was still like a punch in the gut. He swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat and reminded himself what he was here for.  
“Please help me, take me to Dumbledore.”  
Sirius sighed, “Don’t make me regret this.”  


_Present_

Severus sighed as he put on his dress robes. Even dinner at the Malfoy’s required a certain standard of dress. He would have declined except that he knew he couldn’t afford to turn down the chance for information gathering especially as he needed the older man's help in meeting with Damocles. Lucius had garnered the Dark Lord’s favour at the moment and could drop some useful information his way as the man had contacts everywhere.  
There was a soft knock on the door of his quarters. His foolish heart recognised it as Lily’s. _Pull yourself together you fool._  
He went to the door, “Lily, what can I do for you?”  
“Are you going somewhere?”  
“Dinner at the Malfoys,” he answered, waiting for the disapproving frown.  
He wasn’t disappointed.  
“Oh,” she said. “Well enjoy your uh dinner.”  
She turned to leave.  
“Sorry, did you want something?”  
She shrugged her shoulders, “I wanted to know if you were going to have dinner in the Great Hall. James left a note saying he’s gone out with Sirius.”  
Somehow, Severus managed to bit off a snide remark about Potter. “Another time maybe?”  
She nodded, a ghost of a smile on her face. He was walking a tight rope and he knew it. The shoe was going to drop eventually when she realised what sort of a man her childhood friend had turned into. He knew he should walk away, it would hurt less in the long run to sever ties now. Still, he had always been selfish when it came to her. He craved any crumb of affection. He knew it made him weak and that he couldn’t afford the distraction. But yet he had a second chance of friendship and Merlin help him he was going to hang onto her for any time she deigned to give him. Dumbledore never tired of warning him of the dangerous road he had headed down, not that Severus needed any reminding. Not when his dreams were haunted at night of all of the possibilities.

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might remember that Dumbledore mentioned another spy besides Snape. :)
> 
> I also need to address some confusion that I have seen here. Just to reiterate, Lily does not know Severus was a Death Eater. She does not know of his part in the prophecy.
> 
> So, please don't bash her for wanting to reconnect with her childhood friend. 
> 
> I am trying not to bash any character in this, and pick up on the motivations of all of them. I think the character I am the hardest on here is Dumbledore.


End file.
